Phantasmagoria
by Calendar
Summary: A moment in a girl's life; a note, a word, a lesson. He will not let her fall.


Title: Phantasmagoria  
_[a shifting series or succession of things seen or imagined, a constantly changing scene composed of numerous elements]_

Author: Calendar  
Rating: G  
Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and its various publication companies.  
Spoilers: None, really.  
Pairings: Inuyasha/Kagome, Kagome's view.  
Summary: A moment in a girl's life; a note, a word, a lesson. He will not let her fall.  
Thanks to: Eve, who critiqued me to death, I love you so much for that, and Ilana, who soothed the open sores left behind, and most especially to Rin, who told me all about the katakana and hiragana I needed to know.

---

Her pencil moves over the desk, an imitation of a feather skimming the surface of a pond. Tuning out the sound of her teacher's voice, she forms the characters through a dreamy fog.

"_To find the x and y intercepts of the equation you are trying to solve..._"

-form the hiragana, one stroke, then the next, continuing until the last stroke of the first is finished, then go on to the next. lightly, ever so lightly... then erase them both. start, finish, erase.-

"_...solve the variable for x or y..._"

She flinches slightly in surprise when a small square of paper lands on her desk, right above the characters she is about to erase.

-he can fit every emotion into that one small word.-

Yuka's large scrawl says, 'To the future Houjou-san--Your admirer was asking about your health last week. (Another case of pnuemonia? Are you sure you should be in school today?) Today, sources say there is a suspicious wrapped package in his locker... I wonder who it could be for?'

"_To graph the x an y intercepts of the equation y = -2/3(x) 4, first..._"

-it shows his attitude and his arrogance and his irritating need to act superior even when he's lost the upper hand. it shows his foul mouth, and his rudeness, and his violence. she starts.-

She looks up from the note, and sees Yuka grinning knowingly at her. The last sentence of the note is rhetorical--Yuka absolutely believes the package is another gift for Kagome.

Kagome's mouth quirks into a wry grin, and she scribbles back a quick response. 'From the future Jerk-san--Have you been spying on Houjou-kun again? You shouldn't peek in his locker while he's not looking. (Grandpa was giving you a cover story. I was really traveling the country with the two-timer while we engaged in an illicit affair. And did you understand the lesson on functions? I'm lost.)'

"_Once 0 has been substituted for--_Yes, Kagawa-san? Did you have a question?"

Yuka's jaw snaps shut, flushing red in embarrassment of the loud gasp she's emitted. "No, sir." Out of the teacher's line of sight, she clutches the note that Kagome had slipped back to Yuka a moment before.

-it shows his anger. it shows his frustration with the world that abandoned him to be abused, his feeling of hopelessness, his furious hold on a girl that's fifty years dead, his vulnerability. she finishes.-

The note lands on Kagome's desk once more. 'To Houjou-kun's true love--Geez, Kagome-cha-a-n! Don't tease! I didn't MEAN to peek in his locker, I was just passing by and it was wide open! (Very funny. And I didn't understand the math at all, either. Eri promised to have a study group sometime, though, because she's so good at it. Since we don't have cram school tonight, I bet we could ask her to help us.)'

"_Solve the equation for y, and the answer is the y-intercept..._"

Kagome smiles brightly. That's one less thing she has to worry about. She grabs a fresh piece of paper from her bag, and scrawls out another response. 'From Two-timer-san's true love--That sounds great. I'm so relieved. I thought I would need to spend all night going over the notes.'

She folds the paper into a square, and holds it in her hand for a moment before she hands it back to Yuka. Kagome wonders if it's a lie, if she would really have spent all night studying. She wishes she could believe that she would have, but in a life where her true worries are the death of the boy she loves, and the deaths of her dearest friends and the son-of-her-heart, she cannot believe that she would have studied at all. She might not even be alive tomorrow--whether it be because she's living five hundred years in the past, or...

-it shows his love. it shows his suppressed hopes, his embarrassment, the tenderness he does not know how to express in any other way. she erases, and starts over.-

"_...the line extends into an infinite space..._"

She continues to scribble on her desk absentmindedly, the lightness of her original writing settling into a steady lead gray. She doesn't even realize she's doing it. She feels the weariness of her heart, and wonders how it can pump every second, every day, every year and not tire.

She is not her heart, and she's tired. She feels as though every moment in which her heart beats so surely, her body will fall to the ground in utter weariness.

"_That's all for today, tomorrow we'll learn how to graph a domain._"

Yuka walks by Kagome's desk as the class leaves, but something on it catches her eye, and she stops. Her eyes narrow curiously and she flicks her gaze back up to the solemn, blue-eyed shadow of her friend. She wonders when Kagome had become so serious and reflective, her cheery smiles and sly teasing hiding a grief that Yuka cannot comprehend.

-it shows his heart to her.-

And she wonders what kind of a word 'keh' is, and why Kagome has written it on her desk as though it's the most precious word in the world.

Kagome's fingers brush up against the fabric of her blouse, feeling the toughness of skin on the side of her torso. It's the scar that began her life as the companion to Inuyasha Who Seeks The Shikon No Tama, and the scar that lead to the eternal loss of her heart to the same Inuyasha. Her heart has not been hers since she crossed a chasm of five hundred years, and she will follow the one who holds it, because he will not let her fall.

-it shows him.-

---

Notes: Bored in math class, I started writing, and it became a test for myself. My first attempt at an honest-to-goodness present tense fic, which was very difficult for me. It was also my attempt at three viewpoints, and I really tested myself on this. The first few paragraphs are horribly stilted, but I could not fix it for the life of me, so they stay the way they are. I kept wondering if I was writing this to confuse myself, but it all sorted out, I hope. I've been told my syntax is difficult, but that's to be expected, I suppose, but this is DONE, for now.

As to the word 'keh' being hiragana, Rin wasn't sure whether or not it was katakana or hiragana, because he hasn't been exposed to the raw manga, but that's it's probably hiragana. He gave me some charts with both the hiragana and the katakana versions of keh, which was wonderful of him. XD I looked all over the raw manga I have access to, and couldn't find it anywhere, so I'm trusting him on it being hiragana. If anyone knows for sure, please leave a review or email me. Thanks!

Reviews are appreciated.  
_Revised 07/31/04_


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